There are websites and or apps like meetup where you can find new hobbies and friends. As for anxiety, you may as well pick up one of cognitive behavioural/anxiety workbooks. It’s likely your therapist will prescribe something like it as homework anyway and it’s best to know what you want to talk about ahead of time as starting therapy can be awkward. Also I liked the book “In the face of fear, Buddhist wisdom for challenging times”

You realise avoiding the anxiety is worse than dealing with it.

I have no idea where you are or how possible it might be, but I’d suggest volunteering for some local thing: soup kitchen, wildlife conservation, charity shop, whatever.

That will get you out of the house, meeting people - basically without any commitment on your part, so you can walk away, potentially learning new skills and making connections that could lead to a job.

Congrats on 90 days!! Huge fucking milestone, well done! When FOMO kicks in, force yourself to think about low points you’ve had with the fire water - it’s not worth it - plus there is a huge market opening up for non-alcoholic drinks, so when you feel a bit more resilient that’s an option to socialize, YMMV.

In terms of getting out, I whole-hearterdly agree with the other commenter with volunteering. I would further suggest doing something physical, trash cleanups, running/biking club, etc. For me, getting my heart pounding and sweat pouring vanquishes any anxiety I might have had entering the situation or generally.

Best of luck!

It’s kind of a cliche, but lifting has changed my life immeasurably for the better. It was something to do during covid instead of just drinking, but now it has become my passion. When I’m not lifting I often read about it which helps keep me occupied. I became motivated to improve my recovery between workouts, which lead me to eat better, sleep better, and is powerful motivation to avoid alcohol too. The physical transformation has been shocking, in a good way. Every time I see old friends, family and coworkers they inevitably do a double take. The money saved from not drinking let me build a home gym. But to start a gym membership costs less than a night out. If you’ve ever considered it I would highly recommend it

Good job on 90 days. What FOMO are you missing from bars? Just being around others? I vaguely recall the thrill of a drunken make out – but those don’t really happen anymore in your 30s.

I feel like next steps are establishing a schedule - you had mentioned things like walks and stuff. Get to it - layer up if it’s cold - bring a rifle if it’s Antarctica. Try and establish a schedule that involves waking up, eating, exercise, bathing and bedtime.

After we’ve got a week or two of a schedule the next steps are employment. Holiday season should open up retail jobs. Cut/buzz your hair and/or ensure you’re cleaned up while you’re establishing a schedule.

Congratulations on 90 days! Huge achievement, you deserve to feel proud. I’m also going through a bit of a journey with sobriety.

Around the three month mark was a bit of a difficult time for me, too. I’d gotten over the constant temptation, but was still tempted while IN bars. I was isolating socially, and spending more time alone.

Having that time alone, and having some free headspace rather than focusing on not drinking, led me to boredom and restlessness. There was a lot of ruminating on mistakes I’d made, or on things I’d missed out on, or on how I absolutely had to make the most of my free time. Lots of stress!

I picked up some new hobbies. I’ve found it satisfying to start trying things that I was always too self conscious to do before; running, taking photos outside, writing music. I walk a lot now. I listen to podcasts, and I wander around my area. I booked a bunch of little events for Halloween, so for instance today I walked two hours into the center of the city and went to a talk about medieval manuscripts, and then spent another two hours walking back.

I text myself ideas. Ideas for cool little visual designs, or photographs, or songs, or games I’d like to try to develop. Whether I revisit them, hmm… less often, but making the notes is enough for me right now. I think about my finances, and try to figure out where I could be saving money. I think about people I haven’t spoken to for a long time, and wonder about what small changes I can make to my life just to see what happens.

It’s hard to exist without occupying or distracting our minds, because the human mind tends to exist in a slightly negative emotional state when it’s not actively engaged with something (I think it’s called the Neutral Mode Network if you’d like to find out a little more about this). It’s uncomfortable, but sitting with my thoughts in a (hopefully mostly) healthy way was ultimately positive for me.

I’m only a little further into sobriety than you, 198 days, but I can honestly say these past two months have been sincerely transformative for me.

I hope you can find something in my comment, or in other comments, that helps. There is a stopdrinking community here on Lemmy which seems supportive, so that could also be worth checking out. Otherwise – stick to it, you’re doing a great job! Best of luck! 👍

Add walks to your THC ritual. Bundle up and get outside.

Check your vitamin D and B12