Y’all are getting full tracks?

My culture is super unique because it’s built on classism and religious wars.

The sum of all human endeavor can be summed up in a fun little madlib:

My (god, penis, wealth) will (kill, fuck, buy) your (genetics, wife, life).

Feel free to swap things around as needed.

In that situation, I kinda have to say the priest is the architect of their own awkward judgement. They would be labeled a hypocrite because they aren’t practicing what they preach. If I’m in Willie Jane’s Dildo Emporium and I see my buddy Steve, I’m just gonna be like, “Bro, what’d you get? I’m tired of the Ass-assin 2000, and I was thinking of going to the Hole Shebang Turbo EX Plus Alpha. Any thoughts?”

The world would be a lot more fun without the clergy.

The mark of well-researched journalism: telling you who is probably to blame.

Yeah. I wish we could go back 3 years before this boom started and everything cheap…

It’s more like, hey, this stuff burns and we don’t have to wring out a whale to get it!

In March, Carville admitted he had “Trump Derangement Syndrome” and hopes to hate the president even more.

Fucking based.

Same, friend. Same.

I’ve got a bottle of rum set aside for exactly this situation, and goddamnit I could use a drink.

I’m imagining an Inception-like scenario where you start at the first/lightest level, and then work your way down to the lowest/hardest, then slowly come back up, similar to peaking and the comedown, but with more stages. I’d imagine dosage would be a real issue here.

Yeah, when the two immortal robbers try to steal Wall-E’s treasures and he deals gross bodily slapstick horrors to them for the sake of a gag.

Not again!

Hell yeah! Let’s go!

Super happy for Weir. Great writer and now two great adaptations.

That’s a double win. Cured of cancer and every time I cry I smell pork rinds.

There was one day… oh, what a magnificent day it was. April 16th, 2011.

Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

Goddamnit I’m so sick of him. Holy shit. Not in a “How can this get any worse,” kind of way. I know it can get much worse. It’s just the grease of his fingerprints on every aspect of my FUCKING BEING. I can’t take a breath without hearing something about him and I think it might legitimately be driving me mad.

Edit: Peel the orange.

As someone who lives in Portland and makes that amount, I can tell you that you cannot live in the city on that paycheck and consider yourself “middle class.”