You can already theoretically do this with the doors on a Jeep, but it hasn’t exactly turned into an epidemic.

Low towing capacity and an outrageously miserable bed size. Less than five feet? The powertrain of this should have been put in a station wagon, not a “truck.”

Fry is easily the oldest living human depicted in the series, at least if we consider age simply as the difference between that person’s date of birth and now. I believe the Professor is stated to be the biologically oldest person in the world at some point, but given that the show itself jokes that he is technically Fry’s junior I think in the spirit of things that shouldn’t count for much. Various aliens, “god,” and other entities may have the technical or biological capability live longer, but only if they’re able to survive the end of the universe and continue their existence into the next one… Twice.

I think who gets crowned “oldest” depends heavily on how age is defined in the context of a show where time travel is so frequent. Some additional rambling on that point follows, since I wrote my last comment on my phone in haste and using hazy half-remembered details about a series I haven’t watched for years.

Fry was born in August of 1974 and thus at the time of his first freezing at Applied Cryogenics he was 25. When first thawed in the year 3000 he is thus 1025 – at least chronologically albeit not biologically. Context clues in that season of the show (e.g. ComicCon 3010) indicate that the time machine incident takes place in the year 3010 in the original timeline, thus Fry is 1035 from the perspective of his birthdate when he steps into the machine. I had initially forgotten that the trio make two complete loops of the time span of the universe rather than one, also. Even if the trio did not age for any of that intervening time other than a few minutes here and there while they stopped the machine to search for the reverse time machine technology, they did witness the complete cycles of two universes in super-accelerated form through the windshield and also explicitly can’t return to whence they came. So from the perspective of Fry, Bender, and Farnsworth those years have irrevocably passed. Fry, Bender, and Farnsworth now have two entire universe lifespans between the present and their original birthdates, but Fry is already technically the oldest of those three before they even step into the machine.

So from the time of Fry’s birth to that moment when they return in the machine and crush their paradox duplicates, two universe lifespans plus 1035 years have passed. (I’ll leave calculating exactly how long one universe is to someone else, but the machine shows the end of the current universe to be the year “100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.”) Nobody in the show is provably as far dislocated from their original birth/creation date as Fry, so claiming anyone else is would require some assumption or unsourceable claims.

For what it’s worth his Lars incarnation is biologically older than him by 19 years by the events at the end of Bender’s Big score, having spent an additional 12 years living his life in the past and then freezing and returning to the year 3000 (not 3007 which is when the ending takes place) and living 7 more years in the 3000’s timeline before meeting up with the crew during the plot of the movie. He is killed at the end due to being a time paradox clone at the apparent biological age of 59, but prime Fry outlived him by default. Lars died before having two universe lifespans added to his chronological age, also.

In terms of most time actually experienced, Bender is certainly a top contender. Possibly for this reason the Futurama wiki seems to think that he is the oldest character in the show. I think that’s pretty debatable, not least because all of the time paradox Benders are indistinguishable from one another. We also can’t prove how old the space god is, but he/it is clearly conscious and experiencing events, and has been around for a long time. For completeness, Bender is four years old when Fry meets him (manufactured in 2996) and thus 14 by the time of the time machine incident. But his head was previously buried outside of Roswell for ~1055 years, making his experienced lifetime at least 1069 years by that point. (I don’t believe the show specifies what year the crew left from/returned to bookending the events of Roswell That Ends Well. This could be plus another couple of years.) And as said above one of his incarnations – possibly the prime one, possibly not – from “way at the end” of Bender’s Big Score also went back to the year 2000 to tattoo the time code onto Fry’s butt and then apparently took the long way back to 3007 by simply waiting it out in the cave with all the other time paradox Benders. Bender also did the double universe loop with Fry and the Professor, so regardless of what his experienced lifetime is, he’s third in the top three for oldest beings since date of birth/construction, regardless. What is less clear is while he traveled backwards in time repeatedly using the time code in Bender’s Big Score to steal historical artifacts and returned to the show’s present by waiting in the cave, we don’t know how many times he did it. Each trip is easily thousands of years, and while at the end all of the Benders explode due to the time paradox effect except one, it’s only implied and not outright proven whether the prime Bender is the one who survived (i.e. the one who was ordering the others around and did not take all of the trips himself), whether the Bender who survived and the one who traveled back to 2000 to leave the tattoo are the same Bender, or indeed if the robot we think is Bender is actually Flexo pretending/believing he is Bender since that’s also left ambiguous. Either way, Bender’s experienced lifetime is clearly the longest of the Planet Express crew and probably anyone native to Earth, although on that point the Nibblonians may even have him beat.

That’s because as you have observed the Nibblonians are explicitly immortal in the sense that they do not die of old age, but I don’t think when they actually came to be is specified in the show. It’s possible but not demonstrated that they could have escaped the natural end of the universe by eating themselves, but where they go afterwards is never explained and whether or not the ones we see in the show are native to this universe or came from a different one is never defined. Any of them we meet could be thousands, millions, or billions of years old but we don’t have any specific evidence one way or the other.

TL;DR: Fry has the longest provable time span between his birth and the show’s present. Bender has the longest experienced lifetime in the context of us actually having been able to see it. Space god is probably equivalent to the current age of the universe but we’re not sure. Some random Nibblonians may have escaped the last universe and now live in ours, being an indeterminate and possibly very old age, but we can’t prove that either.

If you include his going around the long way in the professor’s time machine and completely looping the time span of the universe in the process, then yes, and he’s certainly the oldest organic entity. He is his natural age plus 1000 years plus two universal lifetimes. (Initially I said one universe lifetime. This is wrong, it was two.) The professor is technically younger than him by nine hundred years and some change, and Bender is established to be young enough that Hermes approved his QC check. Those two being the only others to take the time machine trip with him. Everyone else got left behind at the end of the first universe unless we see otherwise.

All true, but I am going to be that nerd and point out that there were indeed commercial devices with lithium ion battery packs in them in the mid to late '90s, especially so in the late '90s. By 2000-2001 you couldn’t escape the damn things in cameras, disc players, PDAs, etc. So yes, it did take relatively forever for the technology to become commercially ubiquitous, but not that long. (And yes, the first couple of waves of Li-Ion batteries were indeed crap, and had all of us geeks clamoring for gadgets that still took AA’s for a while.)

Hell, most of the major labels post tracks themselves to sponge up that sweet ad revenue. You can just use the tool of your choice to download the audio straight out of it if you decide you want to keep it for later.

I also haven’t forgiven them for trying to sue people for simply watching the Geohot video, or removing alternative OS functionality from the PS3, or for trying to reinvent MMC/SD memory cards in a different shape and charge more for for them. Hell, I still haven’t forgiven them for SonicStage.

I won’t buy anything from Sony for any reason. I don’t care what it is. I made damn sure my most recent camera purchase wasn’t a Sony, no matter what the reviews said. That’s because they pissed me off 20 years ago and haven’t demonstrated any improvement in behavior since. Nerds have long memories.

To be fair, “domesticated” cats are as well and no doubt to the same degree. It’s just that due to their size they’re not in a position to do much to you.

I certainly get randomly attacked by my cats whenever they get a bee in their bonnet, or want something, or are bored, or because it’s Tuesday, etc. The rest of the time they’re chill.

There probably actually isn’t an alternative. Whatever piece of software you might otherwise use to encode or convert video is probably using ffmpeg behind the scenes anyway.

Marbles are too inconsistent in diameter and most of them are too small for paintball guns, and certainly wouldn’t chamber or feed right. What’s more likely is that these punks were using one of the myriad crop of nylon or aluminum “jawbreaker” ammo sold online these days specifically for use in paintball guns.

In addition to the dubious legality of this sort of thing if you actually did light somebody up with a hopper full of them, for anyone considering these for deterrence of ne’er-do-wells in the night, I’d give it a second think only because mostly what you’ll accomplish is holes in your drywall and denting up your own stuff.

Some dude named Tyrone apparently had my phone number at some point before I did. For a couple of years at first I got a sporadic but persistent litany of calls before I managed to finally convince all of his debt collectors, parole officers, and/or babymommas that this was no longer his number.

It sounds stereotypical, but it’s true. I thought somebody was pulling my leg the first time.

Anyway, I don’t answer my phone for anyone who isn’t on my contacts list anymore. If I don’t know you, you don’t need to be calling me.

I’ve posted this story in various guises before, but back in the '90s a friend of mine had a dedicated phone line for his modem (yes, this was before residential broadband of any stripe was readily accessible) which was the inverse of the local Dominos Pizza. Like, ###-###-0101 vs ###-###-1010.

Tons of calls from a wide cross section confused, stupid, angry, and belligerent would-be pizza seekers arrived at the telephone he had plugged into that line, and many many more must have gone into the black hole of the perpetual busy signal.

Christ.

You reminded me that I had to waste like an entire hour of my day a couple of weeks ago convincing my boss that yes, we absolutely can eBay off the four or five unopened toner cartridges we have lying around here for a printer we no longer have. It’s fine. Just let them go. We can use the money for some other operational expense. “But already paid for them and that means we’ll take a loss on them.”

Sure, genius. Versus what, exactly? Leaving them mouldering on the supply room shelf until the day the sun burns out? An 80% return is better than 0% return.

It’s a great trio of games (Legends 1 and 2, and the Misadventures of Tron Bonne) with quite a bit of depth and if you ask me a fantastic art direction for their time. The one thing I will say is that the controls did not age very well. You get used to it after a while. These games predate modern dual-stick movement and aiming and use the shoulder buttons for strafing. I think the Playstation versions are superior due to the increased number of buttons available on the controller.

It is now. It wasn’t at first.

It was part of the Valve Orange Box and that was a big deal at the time. There was also a huge deal of whining from people who paid for it when Valve announced they were changing it to a free to play model.

Sure. But even if I were the pigs, I think I’d find $80/5000 more palatable than $400/500.

I think most of their simunition crap is .43 or .40 caliber anyway. I’d doubt too many serious operators are doing force-on-force training with hobbyist .68 caliber markers.

Lately (no doubt due to getting back into prosumer photography stuff) I’ve been using B&H Photo and Video. I kinda-sorta forgot I bought my drone from them several years ago and at the time they were cheaper than Amazon and also offered next day shipping for free for an order of that magnitude. Since I’m not using Amazon anymore I’ve been getting my stuff from there again.

Everything I’ve been interested in has been the same price as on Amazon or cheaper. I think they’re hamstrung by their name by this point since they seem to have a pretty wide swath of general electronics and not just camera gear.

Just don’t try to order on the Shabbat (i.e. Saturday), because you can’t. Their web site literally disables its checkout during that time.

If you specifically need yum-cha generic Chinese garbage (for instance, if you have a particular brand related to bizarre knockoff knives you need to maintain) I find going straight to the source and just getting that crap from Aliexpress is the best plan. It’s the same bullshit that litters most of Amazon and sure, maybe you don’t get it quite as fast. But at least they’re broadly honest about the inherent crappiness of what you’re getting, and the same stuff is significantly less expensive.

I find MCS’ comment about “for applications where you can’t afford case after case of paint” to be especially hilarious here, given that these are consistently damn near a buck a shot even in their bulk 500 round pack, (80 cents a shot in that case) but you can nab a 5000 round crate of top flight Valken Grafittis for $80.

Anyway, I use reballs for testing markers or fucking around in my garage since they don’t mark anything unless you put a dent in it, and they can… often… be located again afterwards, washed, and reused.

As others have stated, this is indeed already something that exists.

I’m here to go on record to point out something that most people seem not to know about paintballs, which is that their “mess” is intentionally made of materials that are washable and readily water soluble, for obvious reasons. I’ve seen a lot of hyperventilating coming from certain individuals over the years about youths supposedly being able to permanently vandalize things at a distance with paintball guns and therefore they should all be banned. This is fiction. Rest assured that anything paintballs will do to your stuff can be cured by simply rinsing it down with your garden hose.

(This is obviously notwithstanding suitably motivated individuals from rolling their own ammo out of whatever-the-hell. A paintball gun will dutifully send downrange anything round and roughly .68" in diameter, with varying degrees of success depending on the density and/or fragility of the object in question.)

To be fair, they haven’t managed to put out a whole hell of a lot that’s actually compelling in the intervening years that weren’t rereleases. “Hey guys, DAE remember Resident Evil 4? The good one? We just re-re-re-released it. And some old Megaman games you already have. Full price!”