You’re absolutely right. That bit about projection is so true. My ex was always convinced I was cheating with someone, but it never even crossed my mind. She only ever outright accused me once, but my sister said that she was always paranoid about it.

Life is crazy, isn’t it?

I don’t want to spend my life paranoid and looking for crap to explode all the time. I just want a peaceful life.

I have refused to build up walls because of my ex.

I’m glad you’re doing well too. I hope it keeps going that way for you.

I’d be willing to bet that if we talked for a few hours we’d find many parallels. My ex was diagnosed with BPD right at the end of our relationship. Of course, I “made that up” once she did some reading and realized it was the answer for everything.

Man, it got so crazy at the end it was unfuckingbelievable.

She went around telling people I beat and raped her, all kinds of things.

If there wasn’t something wrong with my brain I’d be terrified to ever do it again.

It caused me to seriously believe that any long lasting relationship only lasts because one of the two always has their head in the sand.

Even after all of that, I’m still who I always was. I do not spy on my wife, I respect her privacy. I never even have the desire to go digging.

I can’t help but wonder though, if I did would everything come crashing down.

As long as she’s smart enough to keep it from being blatant, I’ll never know. That’s how my ex got away with so much chaos over the years. I never once looked. She got too confident with one though, either confident or impatient. She slipped up and told easily verifiable lies. “I’m house sitting for my sister.” The only time she was ever asked to do that. Didn’t make sense. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just watching Shameless on Netflix and I keep falling asleep.” Nothing had been played for days on Netflix.

When I caught her red handed with a guy, she told me to my face that he was a gay friend of her sister. He couldn’t even look at me. She said the car he was driving was her sister’s car. Same color, different make and model, tags from another state.

And my god, the people all around me who knew, smiled and waved, and never said a word.

It just blows my mind. It really does.

I have no idea how I managed to trust anyone enough to ever do this again.

Man, I had the complete opposite experience. I had a nervous breakdown, fought like hell to make it work, caught her cheating over and over again, lost my mind completely.

Then, when I couldn’t take anymore and had spent a night out looking for her when she failed to get back home after a concert, only for her to show up the next afternoon with a hickey on her neck, I decided enough was enough.

I went out with a girl who had been asking me out for a while, fell in love, and moved on.

She lost her damn mind and tried to get me to come back, but it was too late. She ended up committed to a hospital, then after a fight on her end to fix things she ended up with the last guy she cheated with and then died from cancer a few years later.

Fortunately he turned out to be a great guy and took care of her through it all.

It’s crazy how fast everything has gone since then. I’ve been with the girl I mentioned above for nearly a decade, we have children, and still have passion.

I felt like I had spent a thousand years with my ex. If started when I was around 18 and ended when I was around 32. We lived together for 10 years.

This last decade has gone by in a minute, and I can’t believe I will have lived with my wife for longer than I ever lived with anyone just around the corner.

I believe that I am better prepared to deal with such chaos now, but I hope I never have to again.

Man, I could write a book on the chaos that was my ex.

The first chapter would open up with the story about us just being very close friends, and her telling me that when she turned 18 she’d move in with me. Well, the day came and she did just that, packed her bags and showed up to my place in the middle of the night.

About 4 days later I got a call at work, “If you don’t bring my daughter home tonight, you will have hell to pay.”

“Oh yeah!?” I replied. “Well, she’s 18 now and she doesn’t have to be your fucking prisoner anymore, bitch! Have a good life!” click

Phone rings again, “Listen! I don’t know what my goddamn headache of a daughter has told you, but she just turned 17. My advice to you would be to call someone to come take your shift and get in your ugly little car, and bring my daughter home now or rot in jail!”

Uh oh. I did just that. She cried all the way home. Her mom told me if she ever seen my car in her driveway again, I’d go to jail. I had the apology letter my ex wrote me for years, but she burned the box of letters when we split. It went something like, “I’m really sorry I lied to you. I thought you were awesome when we met and I thought you wouldn’t talk to me if you had known my actual age. Time went by and it became more embarrassing and harder to deal with. I didn’t think my mom cared if I left. I didn’t think she’d even try to get me to come back home. I’m never there, and she never cares.”

That should have been it, but one year later she showed up with her bags again. We lived together as friends for months, slept in the same queen size bed under our own blankets. One night we moved on each other and that was all she wrote.

Man, that isn’t even the craziest story with her haha. But it was always something like that. She lied about EVERYTHING. I believed her father was a lawyer for the first 5 years of our relationship. Turns out he was a mechanic. He’s actually been a meme for the last few years, but I don’t want to dox myself. You have definitely seen the meme, I can say that much. He became a meme for something really, really dumb too.

All the years I was with her, I didn’t meet him until her funeral. I feel guilty, but I said that out loud when I shook is hand. “It’s crazy that your granddaughter is 13 and we’re meeting you for the first time at her mom’s funeral.” You could tell it hurt him, and I still lose sleep over that because I wouldn’t want someone to say something like that to my father and I doubt he’d even be at my funeral.

Sorry for the book. I’ll stop now.

Isn’t protest coooooo you guys?

Hey man, I’m an Appalachian hillbilly. I’m right there with you. My people actually busted their asses to win union representation, fought and died for it, killed their opposition in the streets.

Nowadays they’re licking boots and voting roughly 90% for republicans who lie and tell them that coal can come back.

If their grandparents knew that they’d turned to suck the cocks of the coal bosses they’d rise from their graves and gun them down.

We’ve not only been left to rot, but actively participated in covering ourselves in shit and now we’re letting the maggots feast on our flesh.

I understand your frustration.

We have great music, great food, flat asses, and no brains.

Bro, it is all of us.

Human beings have shown over and over again throughout history that no matter their heritage, they’re just dumb and incapable of seeing it.

We have brilliant humans all over the world from varying backgrounds, but most of us (myself included in oh so many ways) are just pitifully incapable of getting any of this right.

We focus on what is in front of us and relevant in a moment, and when another human starts running and screaming, we all start running and screaming. We don’t stop to ask why because we don’t want to get eaten or left behind.

Someone else shows up and starts eating a little grass in the little stupid field, and the rest start looking for things to chase them off over. “Something ain’t right about his hat. It’s funny! Git eeeeem!”

deleted by creator

First of all, I have not seen it, and second off, I don’t want to see it. Lets focus on the Reddit lawsuit.

Bro gestures wildly at the 20th century.

Do we really want to make humanity as miserable in the 21st? Seriously?

I hate to say it, but humanity isn’t some perfect machine that can be walked blissfully or painfully into a utopia.

We are creatures born from complete and total chaos with brains suited to live in isolated, likeminded communities that have similar physical features. We have spread our religions around the world in an attempt to make it one big likeminded community and it hasn’t worked, and it won’t ever work. We would have to do what Hitler attempted to do and pick one group and keep only them or people would still find a way to devolve into groups and destroy the utopia. I’d be willing to bet they’d do it anyway if every one of them had the exact same face.

People are still out here trying to make one big group of humanity. In the case of the Christian missionary who goes into isolated pockets of the world to spread the “gospel”, and in the case of some random person on the internet who wants to purge people who think wrong (according to them).

There is a chance, in my view, that your utopia could be achieved, but not with humanity as we are. We could edit our species to be more compatible with a world without borders. We’re not going to get there with the violent revolutionaries doing purges.

Ultimately, I hope it isn’t us. I hope we create the perfect being one day that will spread out across the universe and live for thousands of years (or better).

They won’t have to answer moral questions which are answered differently by every person you encounter. They will know for a fact that they were created and then can build and rebuild themselves as they see fit without worrying about whether it’s the right thing to do.

I don’t know. I wish we could sit around, have a cigar, and really discuss this.

I believe with all of my heart that violence won’t work because violence is answered with more violence. Always. Even when someone knows they can’t win, when presented with violence they answer by taking as many of the enemy as they can with them.

Every little group can go full caveman and fight each other and no one will ever win. No one will walk away with any moral superiority. Any Rome that rises will someday fall.

I would ask you to think about this.

When colonists encountered natives, they viewed them as lesser humans and executed them mercilessly. They weren’t bothered by this because they had a vision. They wanted to build their own perfect world. In their world, there was no room for lesser people. You know? Savages.

How can you be sure that you’re any better?

These are thinking, feeling, living, breathing human beings who just want to live right. They’re doing what they were told to do in an attempt to live right. Most people are harmless and they just want to sit in their corner and pray and hope for eternal life because we’re all in this miserable pit together.

The ones among them who would kill to rebuild a perfect world according to them, well. You might have more in common with them than you realize.

And that is sad.

I hope you see it, or I hope you have no success in what it is you’re calling for. I hope you’re all words and no action, and I hope that you bring no one to your cause. Not because I want you to hurt, but because I don’t want anyone else to hurt.

Some of us are intelligent enough to figure this whole thing out, at least I think. I’m not one of them, but I wish those that are all the best.

We have improved this world immensely through science, put your hope there please.

Oh, yeah. That’s works every time it’s ever happened. All the people responsible went down in history as amazing and the conflict ended and no one ever brought it up again.

Listen, maybe I think too highly of Lemmy, but you’re probably pretty smart if you’re here.

If we were to take all of the best people and drop them off on Mars tomorrow with all of the necessary equipment to survive and then cut off communication with the intention of going back in 200 years, we’d find a mess when we returned.

We’d find split factions, brand new religions, people fighting over what the folks who came before them did, and plenty more.

The solution is never to purge. That isn’t a permanent solution. It creates martyrs for the next generation. That’s all it does. It strengthens the resolve of the very thing you are fighting.

And then it just goes in a circle.

I’m not personally intelligent enough to begin to comprehend or provide the answers for our species, but I’m at least smart enough to look back at what hasn’t worked already and say, “Maybe let’s not do that again.”

All we’re doing with that kind of crap is kicking a nastier problem on down the road, and if the side you’re fighting wins, it will be your people’s turn to be purged.

Damn man. I was with you until the whole “destroy itself” part. I just pray (lol) that they can be free of it all one of these days.

That all of us can.

And yet, here we are.

Yeah I don’t really care for them, but free? I will Nazi or hear anyone giving me a hard time in my fake DeLorean.

Yeah, and there are decent ways to do that, which many successful companies and individuals manage to pull off every day.

I have no horse in this race because I don’t use any of this stuff, but I despise the direction everything is going.

Human parasites are never happy with being well fed it seems. They aren’t happy unless they gorge until they get fat and explode, or they’re so greedy they end up killing their host.

I don’t usually say this buuuut, you need Jesus.

I miss when it was the default position of everyone online.

Still though, with the whole damn world going online, in places where anonymity is never expected in the first place, I can see the benefit. I used Facebook marketplace once just to be ripped off.

My daughter uses an anonymous Facebook account with the name of a cartoon character, she’d just close the account if they pushed her though.

So safe. So glad staying at home worked.

5 of the idiots that didn’t vote seen your comment and must have had their feelings hurt.

Good.

:p Some folks want that dick anyway haha, so don’t worry about it.

Damn, man. That really sucks.

That’s really depressing.

I always figured we’d go down this road, and in a bout of psychosis when I was younger I even lost my head over it and we really are there now.