• Kerb@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
        23·
        11 months ago

        prety sure thats a diffrent greentext (based on the same premise)

        the greentext this was referencing had a canon with grapeshot, and a triangular bayonet

        EDIT:
        there found it,
        im prety sure this is the actual greentext/copypasta it was referencing

        Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended.
        Four ruffians break into my house.
        “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.
        Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot.
        Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog.
        I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.
        Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.
        He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up.
        Just as the founding fathers intended.

          • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
            1·
            11 months ago

            There are all sorts of variations but as far I know, the one Kerb posted is the first incarnation of it. Not sure if it started on 4chan’s /k or /b or some variant of r/gunnit but it’s been around for years.

    • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      2·
      11 months ago

      Yeah, the whole thing is a reference to an older copypasta that probably originated on 4chan or reddit:

      Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

  • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    10·
    11 months ago

    I swear there was a better version out there somewhere but after a solid minute of looking for it, I gave up and posted this one.

    • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      32·
      11 months ago

      Oh hey, here it is:

      Own a P90 for home defense, as Gen. Hammond intended. Four Jaffa break into my base. “What the devil?” I say as I grab my P90 and C4. Put 40 rounds through the first Jaffa, he’s dead on the spot. Turn my gun on the second, the rounds over penetrate and nail the neighbors dog. The magazine runs dry, and I’m forced to resort to the stinger on top of the stairs. “Jaffa kree!” I shout as I pull the trigger. The missile punches through one man, continuing down the street to blow up a car. I detonate my C4 under the last Jaffa, watching as he gropes vainly for his missing legs before bleeding out.

      Ahh. Just as Gen. Hammond intended.

  • EdibleFriend@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    11 months ago

    So, i never watched this show all the way through, always caught random shit and wanted to so maybe there is something huge i missed that explains this but something always bugged me.

    I constantly saw the bad guys on this show using weapons that stunned but the humans were running around shooting fuckers in the face. yo wtf.