I’ve been in this weird headspace lately where life is just… strange. On the surface, everything is fine. I go to work, eat relatively healthy, try to stay on top of errands, keep things running — the usual. But underneath it all, there’s this constant feeling of dull pressure, like I’m being stretched thin by things that don’t really matter. It’s like I’m always busy, but rarely present.
Every day feels packed, but nothing sticks. I go through the motions, check off tasks, scroll a bit, eat, sleep, repeat. I end the day drained, like I ran a marathon in my head — but can’t really remember anything meaningful that happened. It’s not burnout in the dramatic sense, just this low-grade hum of tiredness and disconnection that never really turns off.
Socially, things have gotten quieter too. I barely see my friends anymore. Most of them are still into drinking and going out — stuff that used to feel exciting but now just feels… loud and repetitive. There was no big falling out. Just different rhythms now. Slower ones. And sometimes I sit with that and wonder if it’s just part of growing up, or if something deeper got lost along the way.
And then my brain starts spinning, usually late at night, when everything’s quiet. I start thinking about the future — and it honestly kind of scares me. Not in a dramatic, apocalyptic way, but in that creeping “things-are-moving-too-fast” way. AI is suddenly everywhere. Wars are happening in the background of our everyday lives. Economies feel fragile. Everything seems more unstable than it used to be, like we’re just pretending things are normal while the ground shifts under us.
And weirdly, my mind keeps drifting back to 2006. I don’t even know why exactly — maybe because it felt slower. Simpler. The internet was just fun and weird, not all-consuming. There were fewer screens, fewer existential threats in the news feed. Boredom existed, but it didn’t feel dangerous — it felt open. It felt like space to breathe. Now everything feels compressed, even rest.
I don’t think I’m depressed. I’m not miserable. But I feel… detached. Like I’m watching my life from the outside, waiting for it to feel like mine again. There’s this quiet emptiness running underneath everything, like background static. Not loud enough to break me, just enough to make everything feel slightly out of tune.
Anyone else feel like this? Have you figured out how to shake it — or at least live with it in a way that makes sense?
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Damn… Thanks. I didn’t realize why reading OP’s post made me cry. I empathized real hard because this is kind of my life, emotionally. This puts it into perspective.
Man, it’s hard to know how to feel about this suggestion. I was incredibly depressed for decades, far worse than OPs deception and last year finally got put on antidepressants, which have gotten me to OPs level. So everything described is actually far far better than before for me and it’s been a relief to ONLY feel as described and not like actively ending it frequently.
Did I have Uber Depression before and now I only have regular?
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Are you American? My theories on why I feel the exact same way are all based around the fact that our society leaves you constantly between a rock and a hard place and the fact that we’re living in a Nazi regime that’s been slowly festering for a while now. It’s been growing a bigger and bigger divide and making an entire chunk of my fellow citizens into constantly bitter, angry, and toxic people that spend all their time either falling down deep conspiracy theory holes that make no sense or trying to harass and offend as many people as they can.
Most human beings are depressed by our current world.
If we fix wealth inequality things will get better.
As much as I can’t really help directly - except to say that I absolutely identify and empathise with your current state - can I just say that I really liked the prose of your post. Maybe you could write, if you don’t already? Be it short stories, a novel or a diary, you seem to have an inherent talent already.
Writing, I find, can help soothe the mind, too. 😊Yeah with how well this is written, a daily or weekly blog analyzing your feelings would be a great read and possibly have a side benefit of getting a grasp on the “why” and moving forward. Plus creative outlets are amazing at breaking up the dull monotony you’re describing
Get some hobbies that involve leaving the house regularly and preferably other people. The more alone you are the more times per week you should try to book things, but start with one day a week. Lots of sports leagues start around now, it might be to late to join a team, but you could be a sub. Maybe you have a local shop that has a board game night, or there’s always Friday night magic. Find a local bar that does trivia and get some of your friends to make a team. See if there’s a local maker space you could join. There could be some running or biking groups. Another option is finding a church, it has a lot more baggage, but it can provide a strong social group. There’s lots of volunteer groups, probably at least one in your area that could be a good opportunity. Find somewhere to do a hobby you normally do at home, find a stitch and bitch or a book club.
It sounds like you have some level of depression. It may or may not require therapy or drugs. It could be too much social media. Either way real in person interaction is generally good for you, even introverts.
Blame the dichotomy of fascism and nationalism overtaking the world and with that…a sense of hopelessness
I’m with you on that
Sounds familier, but Ive got no answers
It’s easy, first of all you have to
And once you did that all you have to do is
All you gotta do is
I feel the same way. I’m in college right now and haven’t even tried applying for internships. I’m entering my third year and am just too anxious from my inaction and my anxiety is causing my inaction. I honestly have no idea how to achieve my career goals besides interning and getting certifications. I feel like my university’s computer science program which I’m entrenched into is not preparing me for any of this. It’s been years since I programmed anything and I feel like a wet sausage sliding into mute failure. Not good, not bad. I don’t even know what the reward for doing anything is and haven’t for a long time. I just feel anxiety and confusion and want to be a network engineer but don’t know the right words to say to the right people at the right time. An analogy is like being an egg forced to become a chick by the time you are laid by the chicken. If you aren’t by then, you crack open and spill everywhere and have wasted all of your time.
This is such a basic ass answer, but my recommendation would be to unplug, go outside, and read philosophy. Read Camus, read Sartre. Read existentialists in general. They talk about these things and come to interesting conclusions. Life is absurd. And it’s even more absurd than it’s ever been. The answer to that absurdity lies in your own personal meaning. Because life goes on whether you languish in it or attempt to find beauty in the monotony.
Another basic ass answer: It’s capitalism. Capitalism stole the meaning from your life to create profit for shareholders. It took the meaning from your life by telling you what job you have determines what you are. How long were we conditioned to attach our value as people to “what we want to be when we grow up.” Life feels meaningless because that deep conditioning is completely at odds with how we actually feel as people.
Another way you can start finding meaning is to find meaning in fighting against that. Find a job that you can ignore so you can live your life when you’re not working. Especially in the US we live to work. That creates this dissonance inside you because that’s fucking absurd. But it’s the kind of absurdity that should breed anger and resentment at the system, and those feelings should get translated into righteous action against these systems of exploitation and control. Find joy and immediacy in sabotaging ads conditioned to make us feel inferior. In doing anything that gives the finger to these twisted injustices.
There are a lot of ways to buck this feeling of joyless monotony. And the best way is to try to create something better, for yourself and for others. We are pushed to waste our “free” time consuming and producing. We are pushed to turn our hobbies and creativity into a “hustle.” Start revolting against these ideas in your everyday life and I think you will start to find a lot more meaning and joy. It’s scary, but a placid safety will while away your life and leave you feeling empty. Dangerous freedom will make you finally feel alive.
Some of that sounds like an attitude shift common when you get middle-aged, the not liking loud venues, time feeling like it’s moving faster, etc. But some of it sounds like anhedonia, which is a symptom of depression. It’s most noticable when you stop enjoying things you used to.
There are inventories with symptoms that are used to evaluate, but might be good just to get an idea of what depression and anxiety look like symptom-wise, which can include fatigue and less interest in people. Here’s one called the Beck Depression Inventory and there’s a similar one for anxiety.
If it’s interfering with your life, definitely seek help.
For me it’s a smouldering anxiety that everything is going to explode. Nothing I do today matters, because it could all be gone tomorrow. But if I give up and stop working, everything explodes. It feels pointless.
I can definitely relate to some of the points you’ve made here. Regarding things feeling the same day-in-day-out, I get this feeling when I fall into a rut. Like get home from work, play the same game I’ve been playing for a few weeks, watch the next episode of a show I’ve been watching, tidy up etc. When I notice this happening, I realise it’s time to shake things up a bit; go for a walk, draw something, alter my schedule and try a new game. Variety is the spice of life and all that.
I think it’s pretty normal to move on from old friends after a while - life kinda just gets in the way and you get out of rhythm with them as you say. Maybe you need to find a new community to involve yourself with, one that reflects your current social needs. I might get downvoted for this, but on a personal level I’m quite glad I found the furry community after I moved away from my hometown. There’s a lot of hate online for the group, but at the end of the day it’s filled with cool nerdy people who don’t take life too seriously, and this feels especially valuable at a time when we’re bombarded with depressing news of politics and war. Obviously you don’t have to join this group in particular, but having any kind of community around you I think is really useful.
And like someone else has said, try to step away from social media if you use it at all. The algorithms usually steer towards negative, controversial topics that gather the most clicks. It’s not a healthy thing to consume.
“Have you tried being a furry about it?” - Dr. Furry 😆
Hey, if it works, it works :3
No I do not, life is fun. You know why? I’m on a serotonine medication
It’s the 21st century. Don’t be unhappy. Be happy. It’s better.
Build a family
I don’t live in the 21st century, I live in isolation and without medication. And I assume others in the thread are similar.
No I can’t imagine any path to even living in a different place in the US, let alone getting out. Even some of the edge cases I likely won’t ever have the connection(s) for it to be a possibility.
Depression has episodes. Which means that at some times you will feel surges of energy. It’s up to you to start doing anything you can to keep supplying your brain with serotonine then. Can do this by working out for example.
How much would a SSRI cost for you?
I’m well aware, I ride my bike on a trail (though not many destinations and heat can be an issue) and I even reorganized my room recently. Though it seems like it’s impossible to control/sustain.
For me (carless) it’s more about the distance to even picking up medication (more-so care esp not-the-closest-hospital), paperwork and appointments, time slots and waiting lists. Family is anti-doctor. Many of my issues likely won’t be helped much by standard medical options, even depression (particularly when something like a personality disorder is part of it) already seems like a coin flip.
Also with the current administration I don’t trust that if I got started I’d still have access before getting stable (plus you cannot just take a break from most brain meds w/o tapering off).
Give it a go anyways, it’s medicine. It alters your brain chemistry. For some it’s effective, for others not.
Depressed people are pessimistic because they are depressed, so everything you’re saying I’m literally just ignoring and telling you to get the help you need.
I likely have a personality disorder too, otherwise I wouldn’t be required to job hop every year. Which I completely ignore. See how that works? If I don’t want help, or even see a reason for help, then nobody can help me anyways.
Only reason my depression got treated was because I was self aware and wanted help there. The moment I had suicidal thoughts because of an episode, I just went to the doctor the next day and got medication. Been on meds for 2 years now, never better.
Psychologist said I have mild autism, but she’s probably wrong on that. But what do I know, she’s the one with a PhD and decades of work experience. I just don’t see it.
I just went to the doctor the next day and got medication
If it were that easy sure, but it doesn’t work that way here (certainly not walk-ins, phone doesn’t work for me). That was my thinking when replying to your top-level comment, that most people (in the US at least) will have more trouble getting there.
Do it anyways.
I get like this when I’m avoiding dealing with a bigger issue. I get in a routine of distractions from dealing with something it’s kind of a bland purgatory.
Most of the time these days I face whatever it is and things get bettter. Occasionally it’s something I can’t tackle alone, right now I’m talking to a therapist.As far as time speeding up, I have a recommendation. Do something out of your comfort zone at least once a month. If you aren’t doing new things time speeds up. Work is usually so monotonous it makes time speed by. I’ve been happily surprised at how much time seems to have slowed down since I quit my job and I get out and do new stuff more often.
Anyone else feel like life is stressful, boring, and kind of quietly empty — all at once?
This is just exactly how extreme stress tends to feel.
Basically you can’t unwind enough to relax and enjoy yourself, and so the times where you should be happy just feel empty.
You see a lot of stuff about WWII just talking about the boredom.
If the stress is work related, you’re experiencing burnout and it’s time to find a new job.
If it’s US related, you might want to look into emigrating. It’s not an option for everyone, but if you can get the fuck out, you should think about it.
