Yeah I’m going to have to agree. I’m an alcoholic myself and this is a problematic way of living with it. Moderation seldom works for alcoholics as it is and by putting your choice to drink on someone else’s offerings seems to just be a way to escape any blame should it end in full relapse.
Everybody’s journey is different though so I’m not going to judge. But at no point was I able to stop drinking until I straight stopped drinking. As they say “one drink is too much and a hundred isn’t enough.”
Do you have a Microcenter near you? Their prices are usually the best I’ve found. They have some shippable gaming laptops that just barely miss the specs or price target you have from what I saw but it’s worth looking into.