Professional means you do it for money. In which case you need another job

Honestly I don’t know what’s more soul crushing, the incorrectly added comma or the fact OP still doesn’t get it

As a professional virgin loser

You need a new job

Internal thought process: “psh, it’s not just over-35’s who remember the dawn of GPS, I’m only… thirty… six…” 😩

I don’t have deeply shocking memories about using GPS for the first time, it was just this gadget my dad got for road trips so we didn’t have to deal with an atlas. However, I still remember being a passenger in a moving car using my first smartphone, watching our progress on Google Maps and feeling like I had gained the ability to see around corners. Technological progress seemed unambiguously positive and my phone just kept getting more useful.

When we started dating she had a light-“natural” style of makeup I liked. Ten years later I’m not entirely sure what happened but when she puts on makeup now it’s much more extreme and not really attractive to me. It makes her feel pretty which is what matters I guess.

Removed by mod

Barely a head taller than the vehicle tires, so no, they are not on the tall side

If you meant “short side” consider the ages of the children and the fact that 5 and 3 year olds do exist in the real world

We used to go out for drinks after work once or twice a week

Then a guy got so drunk he puked at the bar, got in a fight with another guy and bit his ear off

The guy was immediately fired obviously but we don’t socialize like we used to for some reason

Donnie Darko sequel shit

do anything else

Nobody fucking asked you.

Stay hydrated, friend.

The intelligence apparatus of the West has gotten up to some hinky things in the past, but 1. Not to the same degree by a long shot when it comes to end user devices (they’re far more likely to monitor communications from datacenters and cooperative platforms) and 2. Even if you’re already compromised by 1 nation state, why would you want to be compromised by 2?