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Cake day: January 12th, 2025

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  • Journalist: “We have found reason to believe there may be a conflict of interest in the way SpaceX receives government funding!”

    Official: “Nonsense! He is a brilliant entrepreneur, blessed by the free market!”

    Journalist: “But if he receives government grants and also holds influence over government decisions, shouldn’t we at least investigate?”

    Official: “Investigate? Are you mad? That’s not how modern governance works!”

    Journalist: “How does it work?”

    Official: “Well, if he weighs the same as a rocket… he’s a genius!”

    Crowd: “A genius!! Burn the critics!!”

    Journalist: “But that doesn’t make any sense!”

    Official: “Look, strange billionaires distributing subsidies is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate of regulatory oversight, not from handing out massive contracts to one’s own companies!”

    Journalist: “So you’ll investigate?”

    Official: “What? No! Now go away, or I shall dismiss you a second time!”