A new study found middle-aged Americans demonstrated higher levels of loneliness than older adults.
I’m middle aged. I have friends, some of them since high school. Everyone I know is stretched thin, either barely getting by or dealing with situational crises that otherwise drain what reserves they once had. And those pulling the strings seem content to keep tugging. Shit is either going to explode or collapse.
Aside from the pandemic showing that half the planet are selfish assholes, I actualy miss being social. Thinking back on my childhood in the 80’s and 90’s my family could afford to be social. Going out to dinner with other couples, going to events, purchasing the nesessary items to be social like golf clubs, boats, grills, etc. There wasn’t this constant anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck as today. I make more than my parents combined and yet after cost of surviving i am sitting on $5 for two weeks as my expendable cash. At that point I have no desire to go out with people as even the gas to get to them would need to be budgeted.
With money being tight I have found that i was always bowing down to work for fear of being replaced. I worked longer hours than I should have because I’ve always been trying to catch up financialy. Now that I’m in my 40’s I’ve just accepted that I will never have that moment where I reach that plateau and I can take a breath. I will spend the rest of my life tredding water just keeping my head above it. And I wish it was the avocado toast argument boomers give but there is no personal expenses in my life. mortgage (ik I’m lucky), food, utilities, school loans, clothes for the kids and that it. My entertainment comes from the library or is pirated.
After having this daily stressor constantly pinging in my head I just don’t have the mental capacity to deal with people. My partner is more stess than benefit. There really isn’t any human interaction I have that is fulfilling anymore. I’m honesty just running on autopilot at this point.
I absolutely agree. Although my parents weren’t that well off, they made it work with the little they had and gave me the best that they could. It included a lot of what you stated, just not the golf clubs or boats. We did a lot and I made a lot of friends through the years and it was very fun. I even had a blast when I got out of school and found some financial freedom to do a lot for a bit. As I got older things started getting tighter and at this point I feel the same as you do. I can’t afford anything and I’m stuck where I am. I feel bad since I have 2 kids and feel like I do them a disservice not being able to give them what I had.
Friendship ain’t in the budget this year. Try again next year.
Nothing important has ever fit in my budget, and I’m 40. Will I ever be able to pay for a life?
Best I can do is paying for survival.
america and netherlands from the article but it does not define middle age to older. The paper it links to studies folks over 50 and does not seem to break down age groups. Not sure if over 50 is older and below is middle age or what but it would seem it would have to compare it to something else for people under 50. Is 50 middle age now? I swear way back there was a one day at a time episode that suggested at the time 35 would be middle age but I feel 40’s would be it now.
Our parents really screwed this country up:
- Worse off financially
- Lonelier
- Worse mental health
- Worse social safety net
- Less affordable homes
- Less affordable health care
- Less affordable college
- Climate is royally screwed
It feels like an older sibling who took your toy and broke it rather than parents as stewards who gave a shit about the society they leave the next group. We were taught respect, share, work with others, and then it turns out all the adults are just doing whatever selfish thing lets them get ahead. All the BS propaganda about communism taken to its extreme was true of neoliberal policy taken to its extreme. Now we slip into textbook capital Fascism and defunct cronyism.
#voidposting
My parents essentially voted against me having a job and don’t ever ask about my situation now which is precarious. Went from retiring safely to career in peril. Just one of many reasons why I agree with you.
Unless your parents are members of the ruling class, they had very little to do with your immiseration!
Unless you count voting for or wanting this reality.
What if some of my parents really love red hats?
Boomers absolutely voted for the current reality. They also made sure to pull up every ladder they used to gain advantages.
i’m middle aged and everyone assumes i’m lonely and depressed, but really i’m just not interested in being around people
i have noticed that a lot of people of all ages complain about being “lonely” no matter how much socializing they do. i think there’s this expectation that everyone will connect with everyone and all you need to do to not be lonely is be around someone. because that’s what we look at all day every day on social media and tv and movies—bffs always together always doing adventures and having fun, while we sit here surrounded by annoying people. you’ve been hoodwinked. meaningful friendships take a long time. years, even. regardless of what you see on your insta feed
Thriving on solitude is a learned skill. It takes most people time to get used to. Some never do and desperately jump between relationships. This is just my personal observations.
i’m middle aged and everyone assumes i’m lonely and depressed, but really i’m just not interested in being around people
I agree, I’m middle aged too and fine like this, enjoy spending time with my partner, our dog, nature, birds watching, etc.
Sorry, I can’t golf four days out of the week.
And have the time and money to surround themselves with others that also have the time and money to not be lonely!
My mom is like, “if you get married and have kids you wouldn’t be so lonely.”
I’m like, if I take one day off from work I’m going to be homeless. Every woman my age or younger is just as burnt out.
Probably because we don’t have a ton of ways to make new friends anymore due to our tendancies to isolate at home.
My first thought was that online gaming has had a non-zero effect on this. Yeah you can be playing with your friends, but I don’t believe it is capable of replacing actually being in the same room as them.
online everything. you can discuss anything under the sun on a dozen different social media platforms without leaving your bed.
there are three problems with that, 1) i don’t think it really fills that social interaction void beyond a quick dopamine hit, 2) people are fucking assholes online, and 3) most social media platforms are not interested in healthy social interaction but keeping you “engaged” as much as possible.
Working sucks
We do too much of it.
We are conditioned and sometimes out right forced into over working to make some geriatric parasite some mother fucking money.
Most of us are not even aware of it either.
I would be lonely, but the alternative is having to deal with “people”.
Why do you think they’re so angry and spend so much time on Facebook?
“There is a general perception that people get lonelier as they age, but the opposite is actually true in the US where middle-aged people are lonelier than older generations,” says lead author Robin Richardson, PhD, assistant professor of epidemiology at Rollins.
The opposite would imply that the elderly population were more lonely as middle-aged adults, and then gained friends as they got older. I think it’s more true that the older generations had more opportunity to hang out, and this was moreso reflected when they were middle aged (but we have no stats collected to compare).
Being unmarried, not working, depression, and poor health were major reasons why loneliness varied with age, but the importance of these contributors and the combination of factors were different in each country.
In the US, not working was the top reason for a higher amount of loneliness among middle-aged adults, while in other countries it resulted in more loneliness among older adults.
Adults in Denmark report the overall lowest levels of loneliness, while those in Greece and Cyprus reported the overall highest levels.
Denmark isn’t a surprise, happy bastards.
Greece and Cyprus is a big surprise, I thought these were largely tight-knit communities living in villages and small towns.
The opposite would imply that the elderly population were more lonely as middle-aged adults, and then gained friends as they got older. I think it’s more true that the older generations had more opportunity to hang out, and this was moreso reflected when they were middle aged (but we have no stats collected to compare).
Or it can simply imply that the elderly population was less lonely as middle-aged adults and now keep more of the friends they had, or just have a preference to meet other people the same age.
That’s valid, originally when I read the headline I presumed the reason older people were less lonely than middle aged people was that older people often get sent to retirement homes, which are usually shared with others.
They’re also using self-reported loneliness, which I would guess that people who’ve been alone for decades accommodate and feel less lonely.
Sounds right.
