Please don’t ask why I need this.
It would be great if the food also made me sweat a lot.
It doesn’t need to be something I can easily find.
Can’t believe lemmy already has volume enough for this level of shitposting 🥲
Shit posting, nice.
We did it boys! New low-effort meta shitpost any% world record!!!
This shall go down as the first meta shit post in the history of Lemmy. I love it!
Lemmy’s first inside joke, I’m so proud
Oh wow, a topic for which I’m somewhat of an expert.
Get a box of cornbread mix. Dump it in a bowl. Add milk. Stir and then consume with a spoon. If you want some violence to your shits then mix a considerable amount of crushed red pepper before the milk while it’s still a dry powder. The milk will help dull the impact of the CRP as you’re eating it but not as it’s passing, and passing fast.
With this method you should be able to make a load of poop that floats a bit and will pile up above the water line, significantly increasing the stench you leave in the bathroom.
The amateur enhancement is to also slam down a number of Fibercon tablets, but if you want to amp this up to pro-level defecation then go look in the supplements section for some stuff called “chitosan”. It’s like ground up shrimp and crustacean shell, and it bonds to fats so instead of being absorbed they pass through you. That plus a bunch of fatty stuff from other suggestions you’ll be receiving will take your adventure to the next level. This plus swapping in heavy whipping cream for the cornbread concoction then you’ll probably have bowel movements so horrible you’ll have to register them with some kind of government agency.
Good luck and may your toilet paper be the good stuff.
Oh wow, a topic for which I’m somewhat of an expert.
Yeah this reads as fairly sarcastic, but your advice is extremely specific.
I am thinking you know your shit.
Holy litteral shit.
Question: what kind of absolute hell would I go through if I did all of this after not pooping for 3 days?
Bonus: how bad would this be if I was actively constipated?
And a new lemmy/kbin specific meme is born. O glorious day!
Some people say we can’t have nice things.
Those people don’t read this thread lol.
Oh no. Is this our “test post please ignore”?
test shit please ignore
Stover’s Chocolates made with stevia. Eat 1 pound over a day or so. Tried and true formula.
This! What is up with that candy?
It’s the stevia, it’s a sweetener but also a laxative. There’s a certain brand of soda that uses stevia as its sweetener also and will have the same effect.
Stage 1:
- 3 bunches of bananas, 2 lbs cooked rice, 1 loaf of white bread (toasted)
Stage 2:
- 1 gallon of liquid laxative
- 1 gallon of franks red hot
- a 3 gallon bucket
- a ladle
consume stage 1 & wait 3 hours. consume stage 2. repeat as necessary
GOOD advice to preserve 1 gallon of space in the bucket. Proper ladle size for this application will require large displacement.
Mmh i like opposite posting
Is this the first lemmy meme? Send this shit to archive.org
History in the making
I was here for the first lemmy meme
The funny thing is, because lemmy is so small basicly everybody instantly knows whats going on
Google colonoscopy prep
Holy crap
New turd just dropped
Permanently Deleted
This is the high quality content I come here for.
Literal shit posting.
Habanero protein shakes with extra coconut oil.
Epic tier shitpost. Thanks for posting for the de-fedded instances that can’t see @mizu@lemmy.world 's post.
To the best of my understanding what you need to do is go to Ryan’s steakhouse or try Haribo sugarless gummy bears
Edit: formatting
Or this review of fiction also read by @uselesslesbian2405 on youtube
