I’ll start, people I talk on Discord with know more of my music preference than IRL people I meet with, because rejection sensitivity i guess
Music taste. I’m a metal fan for the most part and I have my own project band that I release music under.
People always ask about my music (which is very kind of them) but I never actually want to discuss it with people because literally no one gets it or has any idea of what I’m referring to. I don’t even make weird music its just that 98% of people have no fucking clue what black metal is or what progressive/atmospheric means in that context. God forbid they ask me to put music on in the car or at a party. I deflect that as best as I can.
People think I’m into FFDP or Slipknot or best case something like Spiritbox or Sleep Token (last two are okay actually) but what I actually want to talk about is how amazing Artificial Brain balances the brutality of death metal and slam stylings with the jangly dissonance of the avant-garde black metal scene a-la Deathspell Omega, or how Navene Koperweis manages to be ahead of his time in almost every project he touches or how The Contortionist released one of the greatest progressive albums (Language) of all time.
My ADHD has me dumping massive tangents on people the minute it seems like they have any clue about anything under the dust on the upper crust of the scene. Makes it hard to connect with people because I hyperfocus on this shit so any time I talk about it, I go hard. I’m conscious of this issue hence my hesitation to open up about it.
The worst is when someone finds out I play guitar. They always wanna hear some cowboy chord stuff and I just don’t really know any. Music to me isn’t a party trick and that’s kinda what it feels like everyone wants out of me.
I just try to avoid all of it.
I kinda like metal (the genre of music)
Everyone fucking hates me for that. Liking metal doesn’t necessarily mean I worship Satan.
i don’t get the hate for metal. i’m not super into it but i like some of it.
but you can’t really talk about it. people think you are a nazi if you say you like it
It depends on the audience. I enjoy some deathcore and the like, but I don’t play it around some of my friends because I know they wouldn’t enjoy it.
My gender. I just feel human.
I get that. I don’t really feel a connection to any gender, and don’t really feel like putting the effort into something that doesn’t mean anything to me. I just say my gender is I’m too lazy to have a gender.
Same. I know how I am perceived and that’s okay, but I just don’t vibe with the whole manhood / womanhood thing. Of course I was raised and conditioned one way but I’ve always felt alienated by it.
No way I’m talking about this in real life though. The internet is easier.
I’m in a really wretched situation financially, and I spend so little of my income that if I use my debit card once a month that’s unusual, but also my sociopath of an SO spent 500 dollars on bedsheets last week. This came to pass because I told him two of our duvet sets which were 15 years old have sprung holes, so we’d have to work on getting something new, and I was dutifully doing my beer money tricks to try to save some cash for some inexpensive Amazon replacements, and he bought expensive bamboo sheets out of nowhere. Last fall when we had to get a new car he ripped me a new asshole that I could spend absolutely nothing, and I’ve spent maybe 20 “unnecessary” dollars in eight months. It’s crazy making.
Basically anything except private info like name, address, etc.
I’m not afraid to discuss them in real life, but I discuss my medical issues more openly online. Mostly because I don’t want to just whine about my medical issues.
I’m also more open to sharing private information like, I’ve never felt that I belong to any gender (and this led to a lot of anger and frustration for me growing up). That’s becoming more accepted now, but I was never part of the LGBTQ+ community and I don’t feel like it represents me particularly well. I’m just kind of neutral and don’t want to be associated with any sort of gender identity or movement one way or another.
same here man. about the lgbtq+ stuff. I just want to do whatever, but IRL everyone has to put you into a box based 100% on your physical appearance. I hate it. I don’t give a shit about feminine or masculinity or who anyone wants to fuck or not fuck.
I especially hate it when I date. everyone assumes I’m this macho conservative guy… and gets pissed off at me when I don’t live up to the stereotype and find out I’m socialist and don’t give a shit about traditional gender roles. and the people who want to hang out with me are always conservative and traditional leaning, an the left/liberal types shun me because I don’t have tattoos.
Where are you that you get shunned for not having tattoos?
I’m also curious how you dress because that can send signals to others about our likely political leanings even when we think we’re just dressing generically, and that will also be affected by where you live.
i look like a football player. that’s why. big strong dudes w/o tatoos aren’t liberal. that’s for scrawy tatooted guys with piercings.
Ah. Doesn’t fit my area. I’ve seen plenty of guys who look like football players walking around in kilts over the years, and plenty who clearly signaled that they weren’t conservative in other ways, such as hairstyle.
I also discuss my health more online. It’s easier to be honest with strangers about my legit fears and worries. Like, the new medicine I’m on for whatever rheumatic disease I have (will hopefully be getting a diagnosis in September) can make me go blind with long-term use. I don’t want to go blind, but 20-30 years of not feeling like absolute dog shit would be worth it imo. Idk what I’ll do if I am one of the people who has their sight impacted. Hopefully by then there will be treatment for that. Right now, I’m just trying to focus on the fact that I’m starting to feel okay for the first time in my life.
Kink, obviously.
Some of my hobbies. I don’t talk unless people ask (like you did). I never talk about anime, muscle mommies, etc. (shoutout !fitmoe@lemmy.world). I’ll talk about regular hobbies (like !homebrewing@sopuli.xyz or !bready@lemmy.world baking.
Sexuality/romantic stuff. I’m bi, but I never talk about it, unless it’s relevant or to encourage someone. I’m married anyway, so that time of my life is passed.
Being a furry, also for fear of rejection. When I was in middle school, (before I *came out as a furry) I overheard my friend talkng to a friend about how stupid furries were, which really hurt, so I don’t talk about it IRL. Online, most people don’t care that I’m a furry, and the ones that do care are easy to ignore.
I like reading literature and philosophy.
second it comes out IRL everyone looks at me like I am an asshole. Nobody I meet every reacts positively to it. So I never talk about it other than online. anti-intellectualism sucks.
As a kid I once said I wanted to be a philosopher. My mom got upset and told me it wasn’t a real job. I hope you eventually find friends that you can discuss philosophy with.
