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  • LengAwaits@lemmy.world
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    30 days ago

    There was a time, ten or twenty years ago, that I cared; When you could strum those chords on my heart-strings. I used to think that humanity was worth saving. That each human life had some inherent value.

    Human life is not inherently more valuable than the cow that died to make the cheeseburger I had for dinner last night. It had a family, too, and probably did less damage to the earth than any of us humans can claim to have done.

    I’ve lost patience with my species and their constant bickering and one-upsmanship. Endless competition is tired and trite. I’m bored of it. We’re not each-other’s enemies in any material way other than the ways we’ve created in our own minds, and with our own geopolitical and financial games. We’re one species, and none of us are so valuable as we’d like to think. Frankly, at this point, I’d completely understand if I were one day killed by a foreign adversary intent on teaching my government a lesson. Without consequences, nothing matters.

    I hate that this is what I’ve become, but it’s the honest truth of how I’ve come to feel about us. I don’t even know where that leaves me, but something’s got to give. I’ll hold on to hope, but I don’t think we’ve got it in us to come together to save ourselves. We’ll be fighting each-other even as the world burns around us.

    • TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
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      29 days ago

      Not talking down, not trying to demean you, but that’s a doom spiral. If you can, go to a therapist. There’s tons of resources if you cannot afford it or don’t have insurance. Check with your local health service. Chances are good there’s low or no-cost options. Life is worth living, you are worth being here, humanity is worth saving.

      • LengAwaits@lemmy.world
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        29 days ago

        I appreciate your concern, and your candor.

        I generally agree that life is worth living, and don’t have any immediate plans to take the sort of drastic action you seem to be supposing. This is a good summation of my situation. I’ve been to therapy, and don’t currently feel that it’s needed. I’m doing well these days, overall, both economically and mentally. I’ve been dealing with my post-teen-angst depression for over 30 years now, and I choose not to medicate against it, as it’s not solely the product of a chemical imbalance, but rather primarily a reflection of the material conditions of humanity at large.

        As for humanity being worth saving… we’ll just have to agree to disagree. I won’t cheer on its downfall, or vote for accelerationism, but I’ve yet to see compelling evidence that humanity is valuable to anyone or anything but ourselves.

    • echolalia@lemmy.ml
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      29 days ago

      I’ve lost patience with my species

      I hate that this is what I’ve become

      Why should anyone value what you have to say? Are you just here to expose us to your misanthrope?

      Human life is not more inherently valuable than the cow

      Become vegan, you’ll feel better

      • LengAwaits@lemmy.world
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        29 days ago

        Why should anyone value what you have to say? Are you just here to expose us to your misanthrope?

        I didn’t ask anyone to value what I have to say. I’m here to express myself, just like everyone else. Sorry if I bummed you out.

        Become vegan, you’ll feel better

        No thank you. I’ve chosen a vegan diet in the past but it didn’t make me feel better about humanity. Worse, even. My physical health suffered, too, so I don’t want to repeat that experiment. I’m fine with my current flexitarian diet.

          • LengAwaits@lemmy.world
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            29 days ago

            I was trying, but it was yet another thing to manage when I already was barely able to keep up with the daily expectations of modern life. Ultimately, though, I am not sure it was that. My body had been adapted to a certain diet for decades by the point I’d given veganism a try, and given what we’re learning about cell memory, I wonder if my body/gut biome was mostly just mad that it had learned to expect nutrients in a certain format and struggled to adapt to the new way. Maybe, given more time, I’d have adapted. I don’t know. I just knew I couldn’t keep going on feeling like that while managing my depression.

            Either way, I’m happy enough with my flexitarian diet. I eat very little meat that I didn’t buy on clearance from my local grocer. Saving already-butchered meat that’s imminently destined for the landfill helps me to feel less bad about my animal consumption, though I’m sure some people would say I’m still enabling the meat industry anyway. Some weeks there’s not much clearance meat available, though, and that’s fine. During those times I don’t eat meat, or pull from my freezer. Ultimately I feel that I’ve done more for the environment by choosing to have no children and avoid air travel, given what we know about the emissions numbers. I do own a car, but am working on moving away from using it as much as is possible given my circumstances.