It seems to me like you’re a bit overwhelmed by your troubles, so the first thing I’d recommend (if you’re not already doing it) is therapy: it can help you figure out what you really want and why you don’t have it. Outside of that you probably shouldn’t be putting so much pressure on yourself, there’s no template that your life needs to fit in, you can just take your time and figure it out; it’s good that you want to better yourself, but you should also cut yourself some slack.
I don’t know, I’d probably just give 50 millions to charity and hire a professional to counsel me on what to do with the rest