Sounds to me like you have learned some things. You’re just looking for encouragement, now, which is totally understandable and very very commendable.

Don’t ever let yourself question your progress as a static benchmark. You question your habits and wish to return to a more productive/happier state… do you see something wrong with that? It’s very human, and we all fall off the horse and have to recover, sometimes

Dust yourself off - take a breathe - keep going, when you can.

Follow your own drum beat and keep focus on those things you wrote about - improving yourself seemed to make you happy. Good luck - You don’t need it. ✌️