So I cheated on my boyfriend due to among other things struggles with drug addiction and mental health but i am passed that and he has forgiven me and in turn I have done so much for him and we have a great relationship
when he posted we were back together on his social media he had tons of people come out of the woodwork to tell him not to take me bac and I was a worthless woman that deserved no rights
But why ? It can’t be genine concern for him because these guys hadn’t talked to him in years and weren’t there for him when he posted about my infidelity previously
He also had a few girls come out of the wood work which you would think would be an attempt to date him but it ca’t be that agian they had like 6 months we were broken up they could have done it then
Yo usupport anythign between 2 consenting adults. Why is it rong to forgive the one you love ?
the issue with that norm is it contradits anohter norm
that most cheaters are never given a second chance, so most cheating victims don’t know if once a cheater always a cheater is true they never find out
Source on that, also even then, the ones who are prove the statistic to be quite reliable. See here for the effects on both the cheater and the victim.
Considering the effects on the victim (suspicion even on non-cheating partners for years) you actually don’t deserve a second chance, even if you were on the straight and narrow for the rest of your life.
It’d be like you intentionally smashed his kneecap then stayed with him out of guilt to help him walk.
Studies clearly show that a person who has cheated once is 3-10 times more likely to cheat again. It depends on the study, but the most generous 3x in the next five years.
Where do you get that statistic? You were given a second chance. Tons of people who commit infidelity get second chances for various reasons. The problem is it is a very personal betrayal that pushes a lot of people emotionally. This has nothing to do with men specifically, only that they don’t want to see him hurt. You don’t either, right? So you are really on the same side.
Right? I know so many people who were in a relationship with the one who cheated with them, only to cheat on them with another one, and on that one with another one.
I only know of 1 that this did not apply to, and she did it as an act of revenge in the first place.
agian if they cared so much about him where were they before ?
Before what?
That’s not a norm. That’s an ideal you intend to live up to.
That’s not a norm I’ve ever heard. More often than not, there is forgiveness because of the emotional attachment. Things work for a while, then it happens again. This keeps happening and deteriorating the trust until finally the relationship has mutated into an unrecognizable shadow of it’s former beauty.
Many people have experienced this, thus the given advice. I’ve learned that providing that kind of advice can damage the relationship with your friend (because of said emotional attachment), so I don’t bother. It’s something people have to learn on their own.