My job is having a breast cancer walk coming soon and our office director asked me if I would like to walk in it. I said I’d think about it.
But honestly, my gripe with it is that it’s for Susan G Komen and I cannot stand that organization. The overhead they spend is enough to show that they are not the charitable organization they claim to be.
My aunt had breast cancer (and beat it) and my dad passed from prostate cancer, so I understand and fucking hate cancer, but I don’t want to support organizations that take advantage of it for their own profitable gain either.
What’s the kindest way I can respond to such a request without coming off like a bitter dick?
“I won’t be available that day but I will make a donation to XYZ Org that helped my aunt when she had breast cancer.”
Don’t try to educate how Susan G Komen is awful, that’s tricky to keep professional and might be a losing battle. Instead educate about awesome charities that do good work. If you’re asked to donate to both, then really lean into how much your aunt loves this other charity over G Komen.
You can also kill them with kindness by thanking them for the reminder if they still don’t leave. Extra points if they’re super aggressive, ask if the company will match your donation :)
Use it as a teachable moment. Tell the person why you don’t support that particular charity while offering an alternative and why you support that charity instead.
Yeah, don’t do this, especially with your boss. All he’s gonna hear is “I’m shitting on this nice thing you’re trying to do.”
Since it’s for your job, I’d just stick to some generic platitude like “Sorry, I don’t think I’m available that day.”
I don’t think there’s a problem pointing out why they don’t support Susan G. Komen. It’s important that people are aware of the organization’s issues and the only way people learn is by others bringing it up.
Their company may even change the charity beneficiary in the future.
Unlikely, they’ll just start viewing you as black sheep.
As much as educating them about this shit organization would be nice, it won’t work in their favour.
You could support an alternative org and mention it when you decline to walk.
But this walk isn’t just about money. It’s a community event for the walkers as well. It’s a team thing for work. It’s a way to seal that anti-cancer stance into your nervous system with action. It might be an opportunity to meet someone from the Susan Komen foundation, so you can discuss your concerns with them.
But if you simply want to decline, just practice in the mirror doing it in a way that doesn’t sound bitter. Like, literally record yourself on camera, then review the video and ask “does this person sound bitter?”
It takes practice to modulate tone, especially if like me you’re kinda caustic.
What I don’t think you should do is just ignore this. Your concerns about this org are important. Maybe your company should be doing this for a better org.
Chances that you can change it this year are low, but maybe for future years. And I would bet that being at this particular walk, supportive not only of Komen but also of your team, would go in your favor as you seek to shift this company relationship from Komen to some other org.
Is there still time to persuade them to go with a better charity?
I’d say even if you manage to speak up at all and ask them to choose a different charity next year. You’d have made the world a tiny bit of a better place.
Do you feel safe enough at your job to state frankly why you don’t want to support that organization? If not, then do it and hold your nose, because you need the job.
If yes, then tell them that you have learned that the organization is too ineffective to merit your support. No matter what you try to do, some people will decide you’re a dick. You have to decide whether you feel safe enough to let them. It might bother you for a while, even for longer than you’d like. It sucks, but that’s part of living your values.
Stating your position simply and calmly is plenty kind. If you can, offer to help a cancer charity that you can more confidently support.
Good luck.
Who is organising it? Is it possible for you to have a chat with them about why they’re supporting that charity? Could you propose an alternative for them?
I would say, contribute (give money or time) to an organization that you trust and that supports the same cause.
