Dunno how else to call it. Got me a job. It’s not a bad job. I like the work I do, I tolerate the people there, the hours are not long, it’s unionised so they can’t harrass me when I’m off the clock, it pays the bills I got.
… But god damn. Once I’m home I lack the drive to do literally anything.
I’ve stopped going to gym, I often eat junk cuz I just don’t wanna cook, even my hobbies are being left to gather dust. After working my 9-to-5 I just wanna lie down and rot until it’s work time again.
So the question is, how do the better-adjusted adults handle this?
Human beings are the only Great Ape that works for more than a few hours a day.
It isn’t healthy, and we weren’t built to labor 40hrs a week for basic survival.
What you are feeling is a natural response to being overworked.
Get off the crack. No social media, gaming, or serie etc.
Get fucking bored and you’ll wanna do something that’s worth doing (in your POV)
I’m leaning more and more towards this.
The other week, a guy in a fantasy football rage thread had a similar take, and put it so good I had to screenshot and save it.
Gaming away from mtx and daily reward grinds, and also single player experiences without the competitive pressure can be beneficial. It is also a low effort activity that distracts from work only mindsets and it’s been proven to be a net positive for rest in contrast with social media doom scrolling.
For me I usually position my exercise routine before work. The cardio allows me to think and generally function better throughout my work day, like my version of caffeine.
But yeah I don’t have time to do anything else in that few hours before work begins.
Welcome to life after your 20s.
What if you just didn’t go home at first? Hit a climbing gym with buddies, or buy an ebike and use that to commute home. Interrupting your normal schedule and psychologically making home only a place of rest might help you reset your life a bit.
You don’t have to spend money either. You could even just hit up a park, the library, or hang out with buddies. We tend to go swimming lots once standard time hits.
The point here, IMO, is to make moving - some kind of exercise - part of your daily routine. Unless you have a physical job, try to find some way to stay physical. Bike to work (I know this is often not practical), or go for a walk at lunchtime, or start always using the stairs in the office , or …
It sounds contradictory, but staying physically active really does give you more energy.
This sounds like the best advice here tbh.
At this point OP is probably conditioned to be tired when home, because they’re always tired when home. Gotta get those sweet activities in, THEN go home and sleep. Meal prepping might help so there’s no need to go home to cook dinner, but I’m not a well-adjusted enough adult for that, I’d just try to find a healthy meal outside, or do OMAD or something.
Yeah, I’m doomed if my ass hits couch. I need to maintain some form of momentum.
I call it apartment gravity. The gravity in my apartment is just way way higher than the rest of the world. What can I do but sit or lay around.
Aside from a really good advice on putting activity before home, make sure you sleep enough.
While it may sound tempting to have a few extra hours in the evening, the way you spend them when you’re exhausted is meaningless.
When you get proper sleep, you may have a bit less time on your hands, but you can actually turn the time you do have into something nice - and finally get the kind of rest you deserve.
Trust me - you’ll thank yourself for this when you find out you still have energy after your work.
With that energy, you can not only go to wherever you want to go, you can also make the home a nicer place. Make yourself a spa evening. Watch autumn movies with tea and cookies. Read a book. Whatever strikes your fancy and makes you relaxed and…at home.
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Everyone sharing their own coping mechanisms in the comments makes me want to question the whole thing itself. Why are we living like this? And why do we need to force ourselves to go through all this? What is the end goal? Are there no better ways to live? Why, why, whyyyy…
Capitalism. The answer is capitalism.
There are better way to live. But we’re used to a certain level of comfort, that includes not doing the many, many upkeep tasks to grow food, maintain home, clothing, etc. so we trade some time for currencies, that is then traded with other people, and the leftover currency allows us to indulge in fun things that are also complex and high maintenance, so they’re done by other.
Well, that’s the theory. In practice, working a full-time job barely, if even, covers the minimum expanses required to live, which keep going up anyway, so you have to work more to barely go by, which thankfully will let you forget that you won’t make anywhere near enough money for leisure time. Good thing you won’t have any, eh?
sigh knowing we have the technologies, right now, to cover all basic needs, including food and housing, for cheap, but still do with the charade of inflation so that a few select individual can extract all our time from us is really sad.
Why are we living like this?
No one is going up to people and offering them a better alternative. Literally that’s it.
On a less flippant note, The people who represent us, care more about the orhanizatins who give them money than they do about the needs and wants us the people they are representing.
If you aren’t producing value to pursue who can offer you a better life, then there is no reason for then to offer it to you.
Now add in tradition, culture, religion and a host of other competing morals and opinions, and we have the world of today
We live in a society
Food is literally free, it just grows out of the ground. If we weren’t such dickheads we could just take it in turns picking potatoes or whatever and spend the rest of our time fucking about doing whatever we want. Probably
Food is free, but farming takes effort and resources (such as fertilizers and tools) and acquiring the resources also takes effort and resources and…
At the end of the day, we all just want to get more out of our time than what we’d get by doing everything ourselves. And the capitalists of course get the most out of their time, if they even actually spend their time doing anything productive. Many don’t
you’ve used up your prime hours of the day at work, that’s all.
work less hours, if you can’t afford to work less hours…then you should be figuring how
If you find the secret, pass it along
The secret is simple. What you do for money isn’t what or who you are. 8 hours of work. 8 hours of sleep. (Unconscious body resting sleep) That leaves as many hours per day you spend working as you could spend doing anything you are able to facilitate. Problem is, if your 8 hours of work is debilitating to the point it owns the other 66% of your time then you need a new 9 to 5 or at least find peace with what it is you do for money.
Or you have depression. If that’s the case I feel for you, and I know you got this.
That leaves as many hours per day you spend working as you could spend doing anything you are able to facilitate.
No commutes?
No chores ? Like laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping etc…
D d d d d d d d d d depression
$100,000 a year in passive income
Ahh, the “small loan of a million dollars” approach. I always forget about Daddy’s money!
Don’t go home from work. Go to a place to do the thing from work instead.
This is pretty much always the case when you start a new job. It takes time adjusting to the environment, the people and everything else. It’s going to get better, it always does.
However, skipping proper food and exercise is counter-productive, so do make an effort to cover those needs.
Recently lost my wife and my whole life feels like this listlessness you describe. Some suggestions people have made.
Plan out an hour after work to do something even if it means not driving home for an hour and going and doing something. This one works for me.
Do all your extra work on the weekend when you have the energy. Laundry and cleaning the house fit in here.
Plan out and prepare your metals for the work week on the weekend. Its only 5 meals. Cook two big meals and portion out the extras as leftovers in frozen containers then make an extra small meal that is either quick to cook or precooked or frozen meal from store. You now have three meal variety you can pick to quickly cook during the week after work. This works for me as the variety makes me feel like I have a good selection to pick from and if I buy some junk otw home I can eat the extra on the weekend.
Force yourself to exercise for at least 20m every other day. A hard sweaty workout! Just fucking do it no matter what. I do this in morning before shower.
Life still fucking sucks and I hate it… But its better than it was and gets better day to day. You just have to do it.
That’s really what it all comes down to and the only real advise. Just do it. Pick one and do it for two weeks. Then add one more and do it with the first one for the next two week. And repeat. They say it takes two to three weeks to build a routine. At some point it will feel weird to NOT do it… But it takes time and energy. So just fucking do it because its not going to magically get better on its own.
Just do it already.
Sorry for your loss, mate
And thanks for the advice. Even if right now I want to make sad animal noises at the idea of “just doing it”.
Baby steps. Just pick one small thing and do it… I say this as I fight against “just do it” myself… Its so fucking hard. I get it. But again. It wont fix itself magically.
Yeah, and once you get going it’s easier to keep going because of momentum
Sorry for your loss. Thank you for the inspiring words.
I can’t fathom what you are going through. I hope you continue to see the light through any dark tunnels you may find yourself in. Take care of yourself. I’m glad you’re finding stuff that works for you! Much love from a stranger on the internet.
Your story is inspiring, and I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Rooting for you
I admire your strength and perseverance.
Sorry for your loss, man. If you need someone to talk to, about anything, send me a message.
Sorry for your loss. I admire your strength.
Second pot of coffee.
As others have said in this thread: don’t go home after work. Go somewhere else. That’s it.
If you wanna start doing a workout routine, join a gym close to your work and go straight there instead of going home. Want to learn to dance? Find something to do away from home until it is time to go to a dance class that happens every week. Have hobbies you would normally do alone at home? Start a group dedicated to doing those hobbies together in a public place, and meet there regularly.
If you feel really exhausted after your workday, almost universally you can use this technique: go to the next place you are going to be, find somewhere to sit or lay down, then set a timer for 15 minutes and just close your eyes. You can meditate if you want, but that’s not what this is about. You are literally just sitting there, doing nothing, resting your eyes. The hardest part is dealing with the fact that you feel bored and want to look at your phone - don’t. Being bored is a way to mentally recover from your stress. Looking at your phone doesn’t do this.
Then, work on building up a schedule of events in your life for your after-work time. These should be things that:
- Are fun. They are things you actually want to do. They are goals you chose for yourself because they are personally meaningful.
- Are social. You are spending time with other people with the same interest, who you enjoy spending time with. You can reasonably expect that they will be happy to see you, and that you will be happy to see them.
- Are regularly scheduled. You should be showing up to the same place at the same time every day or week.
Gradually build up a schedule like this for 4-5 days out of the work week, and possibly on the weekend. Leave one afternoon per week open for life admin - laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc.
As soon as I get home: I do not sit down. If I do I’ll lose all motivation to get up. Go to the gym, do meal prep etc before I’m even close to my chair.
Sounds awful
But functional
This is actually what I did when I was in a miserable work schedule and it works!
The moment you sit down, your lethargy keeps going up to a point you barely want to do anything.
